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syda 3

(continued from "About SYDA Yoga Part 1") 
 
-     The ashram staff is overworked and mistreated.  Endless days and
nights of work are required of ashramites for barely any pay or benefits;
crowded, substandard living conditions with no privacy are typical; and
sudden banishments of people who worked hard and served faithfully for
years are common.  A number of these people who were thrown out of the 
ashram by Gurumayi were then told by her that they owe her thousands of
dollars for their time with her.  Sadly, there are people who are sending
her the money she has demanded. 
 
-     Many of Gurumayi's staff suffer from depression, eating disorders,
addictions, and other serious emotional disturbances.  Gurumayi has been
quietly sending numerous staff members and devotees to therapists and
long-term treatment facilities.  What is not acknowledged is that long-term
exposure to the unhealthy dependency of ashram life and to the relentless 
emotional and physical demands Gurumayi makes of her staff plays a major
role in their ill health.  Ashramites usually ascribe this to the
never-ending purification process they believe they must experience in
order to better serve their guru.  
 
-     Gurumayi has sent many ashramites to therapists who are devotees. 
Some of these therapists violate their professional ethics and the
confidentiality of their patients by reporting the contents of these
sessions to Gurumayi, at her request.  Some of us have witnessed Gurumayi,
on numerous occasions, laughing derisively with these therapists at the 
clinical material being presented.  
 
-     Gurumayi claims to be a renunciate.  We did amazing mental gymnastics
to overlook or rationalize her expensive taste in jewels, silks and hats;
her need to be associated with people of wealth, power and high social
status; and her need for whatever she touches to be the finest and most
expensive of its kind in the world.  We even overlooked the plastic surgery
she had to improve the appearance of her cheekbones and jawline.  Much of
the luxury surrounding Gurumayi is donated by devotees who quickly learn
that expensive gifts can buy Gurumayi's attention, or at least get a staff
member assigned to pay attention to them. 
 
-     The project to rebuild Lake Nityananda in the South Fallsburg ashram,
which was masterminded by George Afif, has proven to be a fiscal and public
relations fiasco for SYDA. They need more money than ever now because they
must pay enormous fines for the extensive environmental damage the project
caused in Sullivan County, N.Y.  SYDA must also deal with a half-million
dollar lawsuit from the construction company they contracted with, which
was later told by SYDA that they would not be paid for the work they had
done.  Making convenient use of Afif's "disappearance," they justify their
refusal to pay by claiming that Afif was never authorized to hire them in
the first place.  This is just one of the many ways that SYDA is not honest
about its financial dealings. 
 
-     Mixed messages are ubiquitous in Siddha Yoga in the disguise of
spiritual truths.  "Respect, love and honor the Self," but remember:  you
owe everything to the guru, you can call nothing your own, only the guru
matters, and you are nothing without her.  "The Guru is a perfect mirror,"
so remember:  any complaint, criticism or question you have is simply a
reflection of your own impurity.  Though of course, the Self is pure, and
you are the Self, you're just not pure enough, yet.  These and many other
crazy-making messages create mind-numbing states that teach people not to
trust their own truth.  
 
The above points, just some of the aspects of Siddha Yoga we deplore, begin
to suggest the pervasive exploitation, manipulation and disempowerment of
devotees that we wish to address.  This is what we consider to be the real
corruption in Siddha Yoga.  Even if Gurumayi were perfected or enlightened,
which is certainly not the case, her "mission" would never justify the
secret deception and cruelty at the core of her ashram.  If we close our
eyes and ears and mouths to this deception and cruelty; if we retreat to an
idealized, magical realm of consciousness and refuse to see and hear those
who have been abused and betrayed; if we keep saying "that wasn't my
experience," "it didn't happen to me," and "I've never been involved at
that level"; or perhaps worst of all, "I know about these things, but I 
have found a way to accept them;" then we ourselves are perpetuating the
cycle of abuse.   
 
It is painful to realize now how we were seduced, step by step, into
sacrificing our truth, our values, our morals, our reality, and our very
sense of self to protect and defend Muktananda and Gurumayi.  They preyed
on our longing and our vulnerability and we tried to mold ourselves to be
what they required of us.   We thought if we just chanted more Guru Gitas,
gave more money, did more seva, slept less, ate less, smiled more, took one
more Intensive, dressed this way instead of that way, dyed our hair, grew
it back natural, cut it all off, gave the right gift, told the right joke,
did the right trick; then maybe the guru would grace us with her approval
and validate our existence.  When we finally caught our breath, we were
amazed to discover how many lies we had told, how Siddha Yoga had taught us
to let fear, shame and guilt run our lives.  
 
We no longer need to betray our own integrity, trying to get love from a
guru whose love is tainted by her need to control and exploit others. 
After many years, we've learned that our healthiest response to Siddha Yoga
has been to leave it.  We now know it is not in Gurumayi's or anyone else's
power to grant enlightenment.  Grace is in each of us to do that for
ourselves, each in our own way.  
 
Had the climate for telling the truth existed in the ashram, perhaps this
letter would not have to be written.  But Gurumayi and her swamis are not
telling the truth about sexual abuse, about the harassment of Nityananda,
and about many other matters.  It is sad to witness senior members of the
Siddha Yoga community lying.  While we recognize the importance of
examining the weaknesses in ourselves that led us to become entrapped, this
in no way diminishes the fact that Siddha Yoga is fraudulent at the core.  
 
As we continue to free ourselves of Siddha Yoga, we are getting back in
touch with a fuller range of our feelings.  This has been difficult,
because we worked so hard to limit ourselves only to the narrow range of
feelings considered acceptable on the "spiritual path."  We are becoming
reunited with our intellect, which we were encouraged to still, focus and
numb out of existence, at least in part so as to blind ourselves to the
deception and hypocrisy we found in the ashram.  
 
We are learning again what it means to have free time, to have friends, to
play, to be intimate with others.  We are learning again what it feels like
to take pride in our work, our creativity, our families, our selves, and
our spiritual growth, without having to pay what are virtually extortion
fees for the guru's "protection."  We are free of the guilty need to "owe
it all to the guru." 
 
This is an anonymous letter because SYDA, represented by its powerful law
firms and supported by the personal fortunes of numerous wealthy devotees,
can harass its critics not only with expensive lawsuits, but have in the
past violently assaulted their critics and attempted to discredit them with
malicious lies.  They demonstrate a belief they hold in common with other
totalitarian systems:  that their agenda justifies any kind of behavior, no
matter how destructive. 
 
We have learned that we can speak no criticism of the guru without istantly
being shunned, avoided and labeled mentally unbalanced by those who remain
loyal to SYDA.  We are hurt, angry and sad about this.   We mourn the loss
of friends and family we still care deeply for.  We hope they will someday
allow themselves to know the truth about Siddha Yoga, and that they will
cease to allow themselves to be deceived and silenced. 
 
Sincerely, 
 
Some People Who Have Left Siddha Yoga 
 
P.S.  This letter is an independent publication which is not sponsored by
any organization (including the one listed below), or any group or person
associated with any other teacher or guru. Information and support about
abuse in religious groups is available through The Cult Awareness Network
(C.A.N.), (312) 267-7777, 2421 W. Pratt Blvd., Ste. 1173, Chicago, IL
60645. 
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