Posted by Bansi Pandit on September 25, 1997 at 16:24:02:
In Reply to: spiritual path posted by neil bown on September 18, 1997 at 15:45:22:
:
: I have been on a spiritual path for many years I also live and
: work in the everyday world. My wife of many years believes in
: nothing , and fills her emptiness with infidelity. I left her
: three years ago because of her behaviour-I felt she was slowing
: down my spiritual progress-Since then she has spent her time in and
: out of psychatric hospitals , and now her moral behavior is
: even worse. She now begs me to look after her , but I know
: I would find it extremely difficult-My question is - should I
: look after this former wife when I know to do so will keep me from
: the spiritual path ?
Response:
You cannot make much progress on your spiritual path unless you are kind and compassionate towards all around you, including your former wife. You may have terminated your physical, mental, and legal relationship with your former wife, but you may not have terminated your karmic relationship with her. Again, until all your karmic accounts are settled, you cannot succeed in your spiritual life. Spirituality means freedom from physical limitations. Karmas are the forces that keep our spiritual center bonded with the physical phenomena. How can there be any spiritual progress if the karmic forces still prevail?
All our major relationships (parents, close friends, spouse, brothers and sisters) have seeds in our past thoughts and actions. These relationships are not determined randomly for us, but are structured by Law of Karma in accordance with our past deeds. Whether you believe in the Law of Karma or not does not matter. The Law of Gravity works whether we believe in it or not. Two possibilities exist in your case. Either your wife is trying to get what you have owed to her in the past lives, or she is setting up a new karmic account with you which will bear fruit in future incarnations. In the former case, you have no choice but to help her so that you have an opportunity to pay your karmic debts. In the latter case, your spiritual discipline demands that you be kind and compassionate to her regardless of her past actions. In either case, you have no choice except to be "good" to her and do "good" to her. The question arises as to what is this "good" that you have to do to her without bumping yourself off your spiritual path. Your conscience is the sole judge of what is good or bad in your own situation, provided you act freely with a new mind that is not clouded by past prejudices and hatred. After teaching entire Bhagavad Gita to Arjuna, Sri Krishna finally told him, "I have given this perennial wisdom to you. Contemplate on it and act in accordance with your own conscience, free from selfish desires, hatred prejudice.”
The following guidelines from Hindu scriptures will certainly help you to determine the right course of action for yourself in the current situation.
Let your preconceptions not cloud your perceptions. Be free from narrow-mindedness and dogma. Have faith in yourself and in the Divine. Do what is right, but do not be attached to the fruits of your actions. This will purify your ego, settle your karmic accounts, and help you to successfully tread the spiritual path you have chosen. Last, but not the least, pray continuously and ceaselessly to God for guidance. Use the following prayer as often as you can while sitting, standing, walking, working, or doing anything else. Even when you are awfully busy in your daily work, break loose for thirty seconds or so once in a while and offer this prayer mentally to God in the language of your heart. Cry for Him like a little baby cries when it wants its mother's attention. Prayers are powerful and they provide divine solutions to our worldly problems. "Heavenly Father, I offer myself to you. I do not know what is right and wrong in this situation. Guide me to do the right thing. Reveal thyself to me." Never pray like a beggar. You are the child of your Heavenly Father and you have right to His guidance. With this mental attitude, prayers create miracles.