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MARRIAGE [3/3]
>From Hinduism Today
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Part 3
How Are Marital Problems Reconciled?
When problems arise in marriage, Hindus study the scriptures and
seek advice of family, elders and spiritual leaders. A good
marriage requires that the husband be masculine and the wife
feminine. Aum Namah Sivaya.
Success in marriage depends on learning to discuss problems with
each other freely and constructively. Criticizing one another,
even mentally, must be strictly avoided, for that erodes a
marriage most quickly. Under no circumstance should a husband
hit or abuse his wife, nor should a wife dominate or torment her
husband. It is important to not be jealous or overly
protective, but to have trust in one another and live up to that
trust. Problems should be resolved daily before sleep. If
inharmony persists, advice of elders should be sought. A
reading and reaffirmation of original marriage covenants and an
astrological assessment may provide a common point of reference
and a foundation for mutual sacrifice and understanding. The
husband who does not take the lead is not fulfilling his duty.
The wife who takes an aggressive lead in the marriage makes her
husband weak. She must be shy to make him bold. Couples keep a
healthy attitude toward sex, never offering it as reward or
withholding it as punishment. The Vedas say, "Be courteous,
planning and working in harness together. Approach, conversing
pleasantly, like-minded, united." Aum Namah Sivaya.
Must We Marry Within Our Religion?
Tradition requires that the wife adopt the religion and
lifestyle of her husband. Thus, Hindu women wanting to continue
their family culture and religion will, in wisdom, marry a
spouse of the same sect and lineage. Aum.
The mutual spiritual unfoldment of man and wife is a central
purpose of marriage. When we marry outside our religion, we
create disharmony and conflict for ourselves and our children.
Such a marriage draws us away from religious involvement instead
of deeper into its fulfillment. For marriage to serve its
spiritual purpose to the highest, husband and wife should hold
the same beliefs and share the same religious practices. Their
harmony of minds will be reflected in the children. A man's
choice of spouse is a simple decision, because his wife is bound
to follow him. For a woman, it is a far more important
decision, because her choice determines the future of her
religious and social life. While his lifestyle will not change,
her's will. Should a Hindu marry a non-Hindu, traditional
wisdom dictates that the wife conform to her husband's heritage,
and that the children be raised in his faith, with no
conflicting beliefs or customs. The husband may be invited to
convert to her faith before marriage. The Vedas pray, "United
your resolve, united your hearts, may your spirits be one, that
you may long together dwell in unity and concord!" Aum Namah
Sivaya.
(Series concluded.)
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