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MARRIAGE [1/3]
>From Hinduism Today
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Part 1
Marriage
The partnership of a Hindu man and woman begins with
divine sanction and matures naturally into a union of love and
spirit dedicated to the preservation of family, fulfillment of
dharma and liberation for both souls.
What Is the Basis for a Happy Marriage?
A happy marriage is based first and foremost on a mature love,
not a romantic ideal of love. It requires selflessness and
constant attention. A successful marriage is one which both
partners work at making successful. Aum.
While not all marriages must be arranged, there is wisdom in
arranged marriages, which have always been an important part of
Hindu culture. Their success lies in the families' judgment to
base the union on pragmatic matters which will outlast the
sweetest infatuation and endure through the years. The ideal
age for women is from 18 to 25, men from 21 to 30. Stability is
enhanced if the boy has completed his education, established
earnings through a profession and is at least five years older
than the girl. Mature love includes accepting obligations,
duties and even difficulties. The couple should be prepared to
work with their marriage, not expecting it to take care of
itself. It is good for bride and groom to write out a covenant
by hand, each pledging to fulfill certain duties and promises.
They should approach the marriage as holy, advancing both
partners spiritually. It is important to marry a spouse who is
dependable, chaste and serious about raising children in the
Hindu way, and then worship and pray together. The Vedas say,
"Devoted to sacrifice, gathering wealth, they serve the Immortal
and honor the Gods, united in mutual love." Aum Namah Sivaya.
How Are Hindu Marriages Arranged?
Marriage is a union not only of boy and girl, but of their
families, too. Not leaving such crucial matters to chance, all
family members participate in finding the most suitable spouse
for the eligible son or daughter. Aum.
In seeking a bride for a son, or a groom for a daughter, the
goal is to find a mate compatible in age, physique, education,
social status, religion, character and personality. Elders may
first seek a partner among families they know and esteem for the
kinship bonds the marriage would bring. Astrology is always
consulted for compatibility. Of course, mutual attraction and
full consent of the couple are crucial. Once a potential spouse
is selected, informal inquiries are made by a relative or
friend. If the response is encouraging, the father of the girl
meets the father of the boy and presents a proposal. Next, the
families gather at the girl's home to get acquainted and to
allow the couple to meet and discuss their expectations. If all
agree to the match, the boy's mother adorns the girl with a gold
necklace, or gifts are exchanged between families, signifying a
firm betrothal. Rejoicing begins with the engagement ceremony
and culminates on the wedding day. The Vedas say, "Straight be
the paths and thornless on which our friends will travel to
present our suit! May Aryaman and Bhaga lead us together! May
heaven grant us a stable marriage!" Aum Namah Sivaya.
Continued in part 2
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